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Young, Ashley

Page history last edited by Ashley Young 2 years, 11 months ago

Silence

            The chest wasn’t moving. The heart was not beating. Total silence. The pierce of the ambulance siren, the sound of people yelling to start CPR; but still silence. Three daughters crying, a worried husband, frantic medical personel whose only hope was the silence going away. The slam of the ambulance doors, the medical equipment coming alive with the roar of engines; but still silence. Her shirt is ripped off as if it is burning her skin. Tubes, stickers, breathing tubes, IVs, are all pushed into her failing body. Still silence. She has been dead for ten minutes. The heart monitor is plugged in. Men are pushing on her chest as hard as they can to try and kickstart what is gone. Silence. “God, save this woman,” am EMT answers. Beep. Beep. Beep. The chest rises. Beep. Beep. Beep. The silence is gone.

 

 

Happy Birthday in the Saddest Place on Earth

            The family sang happy birthday to her. Beeps and the hum of a ventilator was the background music that filled the song. Instead of birthday cake, she had liquefied mush from the hospital cafeteria. Her daughter made her a special present, but her mommy’s eyes wouldn’t open to look at it. The family came to celebrate another year of life, but what kind of life is it to be constantly losing yours? She woke up for a few minutes. They took pictures. “Happy birthday, mommy,” her daughter whispers as her mother’s eyes start to close again. She celebrated her birthday that year unconscious in a hospital bed. Perhaps in her dreams she was in a happy place.

 

 

            Miracles Don’t Only Happen in Fairytales

 

She grew up watching fairytales on TV. She saw miracles happen all the time, but TV isn’t real. Now she was lying in a hospital bed watching her daughters play while her life was draining from her. They told the family she had a few weeks to live. Death was inevitable. They said goodbyes. She wrote letters to her daughter for their wedding day. Tick. Tick. Tick. The days were flying by. But then she woke up and felt different. She felt alive. She wondered if she was in her new body in heaven, but she could still feel the prick of the IV in her chest. They sent her home, not to die, but to live. She thought about the movies she watched as a child. Miracles don’t only happen in fairytales. 

 

Comments (3)

Ashley Young said

at 3:46 pm on Feb 19, 2019

Excellent Satisfactory Developing
CONTENT:
Narrative is concentrated around a single event or idea.
Narrative includes powerful symbols or metaphors related to point about ethnic/regional/marginalized identity.
Narrative has broader implications.
Narrative has some sort of focus.
Narrative talks about identity without any clear symbols or metaphors.


Narrative lacks focus.
Narrative does not address ethnic or regional identity.
STYLE:
Narrative is compact. Each word is carefully chosen.
Narrative has a clear focus or message but remains open-ended.
Narrative is highly readable and engaging.
Narrative creates a sense of a moment or idea rather than a traditional plot.
Narrative is short without being compact. Words have some thought.
Narrative makes some point.
Narrative is interesting.
Narrative is not written in Sudden Fiction style.
IDENTITY
Narrative relates to ethnic/regional/marginalized identity of the author.
Narrative celebrates that identity and demonstrates something distinctive about identity.
Narrative
Narrative addresses identity through characters, situation, or setting.
No clear relationship to ethnic/regional/marginalized identity.

Emma Hyatt said

at 4:17 pm on Feb 19, 2019

Ashley, I loved your stories so much. Very heartfelt. I would just say to fix your grammatical mistakes. Everything seemed to flow well. You had a main idea in each one and I was not confused. Great job.

Emma Hyatt said

at 3:09 pm on Apr 4, 2019

Good job! I love your paper!

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